Mediation Services
“We cannot trample upon the humanity of others without devaluing our own. The Igbo, always practical, put it concretely in their proverb Onye ji onye n’ani ji onwe ya: “He who will hold another down in the mud must stay in the mud to keep him down.”
The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays (2009)
Chinua Achebe
Conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships, however it can be managed effectively and maturely whether to preserve relationships or to end them appropriately. I provide mediation services to help individuals navigate disputes and conflicts in families, schools, businesses, and organisations. My approach is mindful of the needs of each person involved, the relationships between them, and the broader system in which they interact.
Working with family can be both rewarding and challenging. When personal relationships and business responsibilities intersect, conflicts can arise that affect both professional and personal well-being. I consult with families who run businesses together, helping them address underlying relational issues, mediate disputes, and reach resolutions that serve the best interests of the individuals, the family, and the business as a whole. Through structured mediation, I facilitate open communication, clarify expectations, and guide families toward solutions that foster both harmony and business success.
As a family and divorce mediator, I work with parents and children to facilitate post-separation and divorce arrangements that consider the needs of the family as a whole. I specialise in helping parents who struggle to co-parent effectively due to deteriorating relationships, poor communication, or high conflict.
What is child-inclusive family & divorce mediation?
When parents decide to separate or divorce, they can choose to resolve aspects related to the care and wellbeing of their children with a professional, who has the requisite qualifications and experience in working with children in the post-separation context. In my instance, I am a clinical psychologist who has completed further training in child-inclusive mediations. I facilitate the parents’ decision-making by constantly drawing their attention to the psychological and developmental needs of the child in order to work out care and contact arrangements that are in the child’s best interest. In this process I ensure I create a safe and neutral space for the parents and the children, and that the children are protected from being parentified or drawn into disputes or loyalty binds. I record the parents agreements in a parenting plan, which can be registered with the Family Advocate’s Office or made an order of court as part of a divorce settlement agreement.
During the process I consult with the children to ascertain their views and wishes in an age appropriate way as mandated by the Children’s Act, 2005, which explicitly recognises a child’s right to participate in matters affecting them, aligning with international instruments such as the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The aim of the consultation with the child is to establish what it feels like to be this child, in this family, at this time. The child’s experience of his or her world is ascertained in a deep and meaningful way. The information gathered is used to assist the parents in making decisions that will be in the child’s best interest, which will be included in the parenting plan. The parents will also be guided on how they can reduce the conflict between them and work towards a more cooperative and reflective way of co-parenting their children. If necessary, I will refer to or collaborate with other experts, such as therapists, child specialists, or family law practitioners and incorporate their input into my process and the parenting plan.
The aim in this process is to preserve and strengthen the relationships in the family and to avoid the blaming, judging and criticising that often transpires in the litigious, adversarial system and that leads to relationships been irrevocably damaged.
Why involve children in the process?
Research has shown that involving children in the separation and divorce process benefits children in the following ways:
- It gives them the opportunity to be heard in a safe, neutral space by someone who has the expertise to understand their experience and their developmental needs.
- Children are the experts of their own lives. They know what works for them and what does not.
- It is a cathartic experience to feel heard in a process, which largely excludes them.
- It decreases the sense of the unknown and the uncertain, and consequently reduces anxiety and creates a feeling of calm and safety.
- The children feel more able to trust that their parents are thinking mindfully about them and that they genuinely want what’s best for them.
- It helps parents focus on their children’s needs and not just their own.
- It offers parents insight into their children’s emotional wellbeing, their experience of themselves, their lives, and their family.
What are the outcomes of this child-inclusive process?
- Parents and children are more satisfied with the parenting plan and therefore more willing to comply with its provisions.
- Parent-child relationships are strengthened.
- Conflict between ex-partners/spouses is reduced.
- The psychological and mental well-being of the parents and children is improved.
Navigating relationships within a school community can be complex, and conflict often arises between teachers, school leadership, parents, and other stakeholders. I have mediated disputes and worked with teachers, school heads and parents in a child-centered way so that the children’s needs are prioritised and school becomes a supportive and harmonious environment for learning and growth.